Mother, I can’t bear the burden of this life. You said, “Allah will help,” but where is that help? I don’t see it anywhere, yet my pains are here, burning and consuming me. What will become of me?
The elderly woman, her head crowned with a silver flame, lifted her gaze. Her emerald-green eyes were so beautiful… With a voice as soft as herself, she said:
“The cure for your trouble is not with me, my dear. You should go to this Risale-i Nur study house and ask them.”
This heroic woman, whose heart and gaze were filled with compassion, would always pour handfuls of luminous prayers over me whenever I was troubled, helpless, or overwhelmed, and then send me to the Nur study house. There, my face would brighten, my heart would open, and the heavy weight on my shoulders would lift. O my Merciful Lord, have mercy on our mothers. Amin.
A Door That Opens to Relief
As usual, while climbing the stairs of that apartment, I was thinking about how I should ask my question. The door opened to a pair of smiling eyes and a warm embrace that seemed to hand my troubles over to the water and carry them away.
When I began to speak of life’s burdens, those eyes narrowed slightly, and—what a coincidence—they resumed reading the book on the table from where it had been left:
“Man is weak; his afflictions are many. He is poor; his needs are endless. He is powerless; the load of life is very heavy. If he does not rely on the All-Powerful, the Glorious, and does not trust and submit to Him, his conscience will always remain in torment. Fruitless hardships, pains, and regrets will drown him. They will make him either drunk or a beast.” (The Words)
Knowing Allah: The Key to True Help
“I already know all this,” I interrupted. “I just don’t know how it’s going to heal me.”
“No,” she replied, “that’s not the real problem. The real priority is knowing Allah.”
“I know that too,” I said, somewhat arrogantly.
“Say: He is Allah, the One. Allah, the Eternal Refuge. He neither begets nor is born, and there is none comparable to Him.” (Surah Al-Ikhlas)
It was as if I had come not to learn, but to teach.
She smiled gently. “Oh, is that so? Then who is Allah? What is He like? I’m asking you about the Allah in your mind.”
“What do you mean by that?” I objected.
“No, the Allah in your mind—and in everyone’s mind—is different. Because look at what Allah says: ‘I am as My servant thinks of Me. As he knows Me, so will I deal with him.’ [Bukhari, Tawhid 15; 35; Muslim, Dhikr 2 (2675), Tawbah 1 (2675).] That is, however you know the Allah in your mind, that is how your life will be.”
She continued with an example: “You know Ismail and Nazlı, right? Others know them too, but with different traits. One knows their compassionate—Jamal—side; another has seen them when angry, knowing their Jalal side.
“So then, you have to know Him—truly know Him—so you can trust Him, rely on Him, be happy, and be freed from troubles and worries.”
Marifatullah: The Path to Lasting Healing
Let’s hear it from Ustad:
“He who knows Him and obeys Him is happy, even in prison. He who forgets Him is in prison, even if he is in palaces, and is miserable.” (The Rays)
“In all the ranks of sainthood, the love that comes from marifatullah—knowing Allah—is the most important essence and elixir.” (The Letters)
Maratib al-Wilayah: that is, on the road to Allah’s friendship. The first thing we need is marifatullah, knowing Him. Then there will be no trouble, no pain.
“For the one who does not know Allah, a world full of calamities weighs upon him. For the one who knows Allah, his world is filled with light and spiritual joy, felt according to the degree of his faith’s strength.” (The Flashes)
That means you must do marifatullah readings—learning to know Allah—if you are serious and truly seeking a sincere solution to your troubles. Otherwise, whatever you do here, going home and scrolling on your phone, watching a movie, or eating a delicious meal will not give lasting solutions. “If you want,” she said, “I can recommend readings to you—if you wish, of course.”
I seemed willing. When I got home, I had only one recommendation on my phone:
“My sister, read the 23rd Word with your heart, soul, and mind. Let’s meet next week. I kiss your mother’s hands.”
A Prayer for Mothers
May Allah grant our mothers health, wellness, and a blessed life.
For those who have departed to the Hereafter, our prayer—quoting from Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)—is:
“May Allah forgive you and reward you with goodness! May Allah have mercy on you, my dear mother! You would go hungry yourself, but feed me! You would go unclothed yourself, but clothe me! You would let me taste the most delicious blessings, depriving your own soul! And you would do all this only seeking Allah’s pleasure and the Hereafter’s abode!
Allah, who gives life and causes death, never dies. He is Ever-Living, continuously alive.
O Allah! Forgive my mother. Expand her grave. For the sake of Your Messenger and the previous prophets, accept my prayer, O my exalted Lord, the Most Merciful of the merciful!”
